It is deeply human (and normal) to have suicidal thoughts at some point in your life. Ten percent of Americans attempt suicide at some point in their lives; 20% have suicidal thoughts without any plan; and another 20% have the thoughts and a plan (Hayes et al., 2011). This means that roughly 50% (half) of the U.S. population will wrestle with suicidal thoughts over their lifetime. Suicidal thoughts are common, so if you experience them, you can honestly tell yourself, “I am having suicidal thoughts, and this is normal and temporary. Many people struggle with these thoughts and find a way through.”
Why does the mind create suicidal thoughts? We get suicidal thoughts when we feel stuck or trapped, when we feel that there is no way out of the situation we are in. The mind says something like, “I can’t take it anymore. I can’t find a solution. I am in so much pain, and I just want the pain to stop!” At that point, the mind may create suicidal thoughts. The problem, however, is that the act of suicide prevents a person from ever finding out if things could have changed, if life could have gotten better, if they could have found a way through. Just as the mind can create thoughts of self-destruction, the mind can also be incredibly creative. While a solution may be elusive right now, that does not mean there is no solution. You may just find a solution tomorrow. Or maybe there is a person you can reach out to for help or guidance? Maybe there is an avenue of hope that is unexplored?
It is also helpful to realize that suicidal thoughts is a common symptom of depression, and although painful, depression is an important emotional signal. Our emotions are like inner signs that can give us directions and help us navigate the complex roads of life. For example, anxiety tells us, “There is a threat nearby – I have to be careful!” Anger tells us, “I have been treated unfairly.” What does depression tell us? Depression is a sign that you are under immense pressure, and therefore, you may need to rest and take a break. It can also tell you that you’ve been through something very difficult that you are trying to heal from. After all, when people become depressed, one of the most common things they do is isolate, withdraw, or sleep. It is important to listen to the signals from within. When the body says, “I’m depressed,” listen to your body’s signal and tell yourself, “I need to take some time for self-care. Maybe I’ll take the day off of work.”
In addition, many people benefit from creating a Safety Plan, which refers to a series of steps they can take to keep themselves safe if the suicidal thoughts become really intense. Everyone’s Safety Plan is as unique as they are, but here are a couple steps you might consider adding to yours:
- Reassure yourself that it is normal to get suicidal thoughts from time to time.
- Recognize that depression symptoms like suicidal thoughts are signals that something isn’t working and needs to be adjusted. You might need to rest, reflect, and re-energize. Maybe take the day off of work, or stay home from school – or in a more intense situation, take a leave of absence. On the other hand, sticking to your normal routine of going to work/school may also prove to be a positive distraction to move through those thoughts and to give yourself more meaning and purpose.
- Distract yourself from the intense feelings by gently shocking one of your sensations. For example, you can challenge yourself to bite into a lemon, splash cold water on your face, or hold a piece of ice for 60 seconds.
- Get outside – often being around people, nature, or animals can lift the human spirit. Even if you don’t really feel like talking to anyone, it can help to change into clean clothes and be near other people.
- Talk to a friend, relative, or a person you trust, such as a teacher or minister, and open up about thoughts you are having. Sharing your experience can reduce feelings of loneliness, shame and hopelessness.
- Do the opposite of what your emotions want you to do. If your anxiety tells you, “I can’t go on the interview,” then do the opposite and go to the interview early. If your anger tells you, “I have to yell at someone,” then pay the person a compliment instead. If your depression tells you, “I have to isolate,” then sit in your living room around other people or text a friend.
- People often feel more motivated when they have a goal or purpose they are working towards. How can you volunteer your time to help someone or to care for a beloved pet? What is a goal you have that you can take a step on, even if just for 5 minutes (e.g. learning a language, planning a trip, accomplishing a fitness goal)?
- Psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Victor Frankl wrote an incredible book called “Man’s Search for Meaning.” The book is well worth the read. It inspires hope, even in the midst of overwhelming odds. Hearing from others who have experienced similar concerns and overcome them can be incredibly inspiring. Read some here.
- Schedule an appointment with a mental health counselor or medical doctor.
- Contact a free, crisis hotline which are available 24/7:
a. Alachua County Crisis Center: 352-264-6789
b. Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Call or text “988” or chat online at 988lifeline.org
c. Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 - If you have a plan or the means to hurt yourself, give that item(s) to someone else to store or throw away for you.
- If you feel your life is in imminent danger or you are unable to keep yourself safe, go to your nearest emergency room or call 911.
You CAN learn to feel more confident in your ability to move through suicidal thoughts and experience more peace and healing.
References
- Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2011). Acceptance and commitment therapy: The process and practice of mindful change. Guilford press.
- Frankl, V. E. (1985). Man’s search for meaning. Simon and Schuster.