Survivors of suicide

A Guide to Emotional Healing After the Suicide of a Loved One

As a suicide loss survivor, the aftermath of this loss is an emotionally turbulent journey, often marked by grief, confusion, and profound sorrow. It has been said that someone who dies by suicide dies once. However, those who are left behind die a thousand deaths. Coping and grieving a loved one’s suicide is often more complex of a process given the layers of stigma, cultural or religious expectations, judgment and assumptions that can surround suicide. In this blog post, we’ll explore some strategies to help you navigate the path of healing after your loss.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s crucial to recognize and accept the myriad of emotions you may be experiencing. Grief is not a linear process. It is expected you may feel a range of emotions such as shock, anger, guilt, sadness, abandonment, and more. Allow yourself to feel without judgment, and understand that healing is a gradual and unique journey for everyone. When the death may have been sudden or violent, it can exacerbate feelings of trauma.
2. Seek Support: During this challenging time, lean on your support network—friends, family, or a mental health professional. It’s common for others not to know what to say or to fear upsetting you. Let them know you want to talk. Sharing your thoughts and emotions can be a cathartic experience and help you feel less isolated and alone. Connecting with others who have experienced similar losses through support groups or counseling can provide a unique understanding and empathy. A helpful website is the Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss.
3. Understand Suicide: Educate yourself about suicide to dispel misconceptions and reduce stigma. Understanding the complexities surrounding mental health and suicide can help you process your emotions more effectively. Remember that mental health challenges are often invisible, and compassionate understanding is crucial in overcoming judgment and blame. It is also important to use non-stigmatizing language, such as saying someone “died by suicide” rather than “committed suicide.”
4. Self-Care Matters: Take care of your physical and emotional well-being. Grieving is exhausting, and you may find yourself experiencing a range of emotional and physical reactions (e.g. sleep or appetite disturbance, poor concentration, stomach concerns). It’s essential to be gentle with yourself, and to prioritize self-care activities that bring you comfort and relaxation. This will include sleeping 7+ hours a night, eating nutritious meals, and engaging in activities you enjoy. Exercise, time with friends, and mindfulness practices can also contribute to your overall well-being.
5. Create Rituals of Remembrance: Establishing meaningful rituals to honor your loved one can be a therapeutic way to remember and celebrate their life. This could include creating a memory box, lighting a candle on their birthday, planting a memorial tree, or participating in events that hold sentimental value. Find activities that resonate with you and contribute to a positive remembrance of your loved one.
6. Set Realistic Expectations: Grieving is a unique and personal process that unfolds at its own pace. Avoid setting rigid timelines for your healing journey. Remember that the first year will be especially hard as you encounter many “firsts” without them. Instead, allow yourself the time and space needed to grieve. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you navigate the challenges that arise.
7. Seek Professional Help: Seeking counseling is a sign of strength, not weakness. A mental health counselor has helped others in your situation and can provide the support and tools you need to help you process your emotions and stay on a healing path. This is especially helpful if you are experiencing any symptoms of PTSD that may be a result of the suicide. In Alachua County, there is also a free, support group for survivors.

The emotional healing process after the suicide of a loved one is undeniably challenging, and with time, support, and self-care, it is possible to experience more peace and healing. Remember, healing is not about forgetting, but learning to live with the memories in a way that allows you to move forward with hope and resilience. Embrace the support around you, be patient with yourself, and take each step at your own pace on the road to emotional recovery.